Today something broke my heart. It wasn’t my sin (hold on, I’ll get there). It hurt deep. How unbearable sometimes! Is it just me and my shallow expectations from a friend of family (I messaged after)? My unloving comparison of what I would have done and how I would have responded? Love I thought I had.
Then I realized, God must have felt the same, heartbroken that is. Countless times I have broken God’s heart! And yet those times I was not the slightest bit broken. Unbroken, indeed.
Right then, I felt deep sorrow. How I could hurt for a relationship and not my relationship with God. By the grace of God, I felt sorrow for my sins.
/Sorrow for conditional love.//
Loving. This world has given us so many pictures of it, we confuse its true essence. Without condition. And where expectation begins, hurt is inevitable.
/Sorrow for seeking to learn more than to learn more about God.//
A big fan of learning, I need to be reminded sometimes that there’s more to life than learning. Always seeking for the learning in experiences, I have failed to both seek and focus on God’s character. Indeed I am witness to this truth: a glimpse of his unfathomable beauty-majesty-love-kindness transforms the heart of even the hardest hearted person one knows. Here, myself.